Unable to Masturbate

Damn spreader bars!

Let That Be a Lesson

This putz forgot his wife's birthday.

And now he pays for his mistake.

Give Her This Gift

Ladies, did you get the same old mundane gifts for Christmas this year?

Would you have preferred to unwrap this?

It's not too late!

Joysticks

Oh, there's a video game controller too.

Morning Stretch

How much of a stretch?  Look at his ass - it's been pulled up off the table.